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Know Thyself and Your Sticky Floors

The 7 Self-Limiting Behaviors That Hold Women Back

March 12, 2008
Rebecca Shambaugh

We once believed that what limited us in our careers was the “glass ceiling” – others preventing us from rising to the top. While that might still hold true in some organizations, it’s important for each of us to look at what we might be doing, or not doing that is also holding us back. I call these “The Sticky Floors.”

Work/Life Balance
Work/Life Balance is knowing and being aware of your values; how they play out in your whole life – both personally and professionally; and being aligned with those most important values. It’s asking for help when in need versus trying not to do it ALL on your own. It’s not over multi- tasking, but rather focusing on your top priorities and establishing boundaries for yourself and others around how you balance your life – because at the end of the day, you are in control of what that work/life balance looks like for you.

Loyalty Factor – Staying In Once Place Too Long
The loyalty factor is that “boss-centric syndrome” where you’ve been with a boss and you’ve got a very close relationship with him or her. That boss has been a very strong supporter for you and you’ve done great things together. You know that if you just continue to do that good job, things will continue to be good for you. One limitation of this is that you only get one perspective on things and one source of feedback – that of your boss -- when it might be helpful for you to get other input as you are trying to increase yours skills and broaden your business perspective.

And with the loyalty factor comes staying in one job or place too long – you limit your opportunity to self-identify and socialize yourself as an individual throughout the organization. You not only can become co-branded with your boss, but you also limit your ability to broaden your breadth and depth of knowledge and credibility outside of your own domain.

Perfectionism versus Excellence
Perfectionism is getting things right to a standard that is probably higher than necessary. There are some things where you need to perform at very high standards and other things that are not as important to be done to such a high standard. You need to know what the critical things are to be putting our energy into and where you can say “this is good enough” and move on. 

Perfectionism can also lead to micro-managing and can impact how effective you are at delegating. You can miss the broader business perspective and be perceived as a great “doer”, but not very strategic or executive-like.

Building Strategic Relationships
Building strategic relationships is having a goal that is important to you, and then looking at those individuals who can help you achieve it rather than doing it on your own. It’s looking at what you need to learn, who you need to know, who could be an advocate or sponsor for you, figuring how to contact them, and then being able to ask for that help in a way that people know how to respond. It’s also leveraging and building broader and deeper relationships across the organization, and looking at relationships or networks of relationships, as more of a web than your traditional organizational chart.

Political Savvy
Political Savvy is socializing your leadership across the organization. It’s learning who needs to know what, and who needs to know you. It’s figuring out the best mechanisms for knowing what’s happening in the organization so you can bring value to situations rather than just hoping that information will come to you.

It’s not always taking people at their word, but rather “reading between the lines” to understand what they are really saying and feeling. It’s that situational awareness – paying attention carefully to that environment around you, and determining the (organizational) cultural aspects at play. It’s having the right intelligence to know how people are going to respond, how decisions are going to be made, and how the information is really going to flow.

Making Your Words Count
Making your words count means coming into the room fully prepared with the message you want to deliver and having that message relevant enough that it resonates with the audience – whether that’s an individual or a group, formal or informal setting, etc. It’s not filling the room with words, but giving a clear, concise message and owning that message… staying on it. It’s not rambling. It’s presenting relevant facts and quantifying statements when that kind of data has greater impact than just making statements. It’s showing that you’ve done your homework.

It’s also speaking up. We need to speak up if we have something important to say.

Asking for What You Want
Knowing and asking for what you want is something we are entitled to and others expect us to do. We sometimes think that others can read our mind and respond to what we want. Or we are sometimes fearful of being turned down or being seen as too pushy and not appreciative of what we have already.

And, we may ask for help but ask in a way that people don’t know how to respond. We are not thinking through what it is exactly that we want that person to do, so we really need to look at how we are framing the request for help and strive to make it a win-win.

Take time to research your request and don’t just assume that someone will take you seriously. Know that if your response to your request is initially “no”, it doesn’t always mean “no.” It could have been bad timing, your approach, or the way you provided information. Go back and try again and most likely you will get your request.