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Sticky-Floor Mentality Can Pull at Work-Life Balance

June 16, 2006
Washington Business Journal, Rebecca Shambaugh

You look up and see it's 8 p.m. Suddenly, you realize in horror that you've missed your daughter's "back-to-school night" (or your son's Little League game or fill in the blank). You can't believe you've let time get away from you. How did this happen? You're a good mom, although a very guilty-feeling one right now. Where are your priorities?

If you're lucky, you decide at a moment like this that things are going to change because your life is completely out of whack.

Take comfort -- you are not alone. I see examples of work-life imbalances frequently when I consult with organizations committed to being a great place to work. While all organizations go through periods where employees are stretched very thin, I try to help them see that on an everyday basis women unknowingly bring this work-life imbalance on themselves. It's part of what I call the Sticky Floor Syndrome.

Women, many of whom are devoted wives and mothers and fiercely loyal employees, go into overdrive at work, but instead of being propelled forward -- and upward -- they get stuck in place of their own accord. To them, it appears their organization is just demanding too much or their team is not as competent as they would like. However, they are the ones setting things askew. They don't see it. (That's the real sticky floor versus the illusionary glass ceiling issue.)

Let's look at one of these sticky floors: letting go. Many women tend to pay too much attention to the fine details as their work continues to pile up.

They have supportive teams, but they sometimes fail to delegate for all sorts of "good reasons," such as, there isn't enough time to pass it off, they can really do it better than anyone else, they can't afford to have someone make a mistake -- you get the picture. While some of those reasons might be true, not delegating tasks can slow down processes and actually make more work.

Add in the fact that women tend to jump in to help others. This time demand can become the norm as others come to depend upon these eager-to-please women. Many also think that everything must be perfect, right down to answering all e-mails before leaving for the day. Whew! If any of these things sound familiar to you, no wonder you feel overwhelmed, and overworked. I don't think things are going to get any better.

If I were a doctor, I would examine your symptoms -- reluctance to delegate, extremely high standards, loyalty and dedication -- and diagnose you with the disease to please.

Luckily, there's a remedy. Here are six signs that you might have a work-life imbalance:

1. You feel helpless, victimized.

2. You feel angry at people who continue to ask you for favors.

3. You feel burned out.

4. You've lost your creativity.

5. You feel there's no end to the projects and demands.

6. You feel like life is out of your control.

Feeling like you don't have control of your life is an illusion. The reality is you have greater control than you think.

So what do you do to take control? Recognize that you've gotten yourself into a behavior pattern and you're stuck. Then, start to free up your time so you can get your work and personal life back into balance.

1. Step back and take in the big picture. Determine what's really important for you -- passions, goals, work, family, money. Focus on the activities that produce value for your organization and yourself.

2. Establish your autonomy. Recognize your choices, establish your boundaries, reduce your to-do list and learn to say "no."

3. Delegate. If you don't give your team the authority to take on tasks, they won't learn, they won't produce and it will reflect poorly on them -- and you. Delegate tasks you've mastered and master others. This can bring the greatest level of satisfaction and fulfillment in your job. Ensure your standards are in line with your organization's standards. You may kick yourself if you burn out only to learn later that you were doing enormous amounts of work that the organization didn't even want you to do, as is often the case.

4. Slow down. Take time out for yourself. Be more aware of behavior patterns that have become vicious cycles. Pamper yourself, eat better, exercise and sleep well.

5. Start now. Take the first step, reset your goal and priorities, change the things you can, be consistent and stay committed, be accountable and celebrate success.

It's difficult to do it all, yet that's what many women think they must do. Know that you can do everything, just not all at the same time. Set your priorities. Realize you have complete control of your life -- you are your own CEO and you're heading a board that's demanding change. What actions will you take Monday morning to get your work and life into balance? It's never too late.

Rebecca Shambaugh is president and CEO of Shambaugh Leadership, a leadership and organizational development consulting firm based in McLean. Web site: www.ShambaughLeadership.com.