During the past twenty years of executive coaching, I have seen many differences between how men and women approach work situations. Despite our differences, there are many similarities, too. For example, when it comes to asking for what you want (and getting it), both men and women often have a difficult time of it.
When you’re working hard, getting great results for your organization and great reviews from the upper ranks, it’s natural to think you’re in line for the next promotion. Why wouldn’t you be? Because you haven’t asked.
Think about it from your boss’s perspective. You’re doing great. In fact, you’re doing so well that it’s hard to imagine anyone else filling your shoes. You’ve permanently secured your current position. And, to your boss, you seem happy with what you’re doing – which you might be. But if this position is not the “be all, end all” for you, you need to speak up. Don’t assume people around you know what you want.
And don’t assume that you are “entitled” to something, so therefore it will come to you. People expect you to ask for what you want. It shows confidence.
How do you ask for what you want – and get it? Whatever you want – whether it is a promotion, a bonus or a raise, or more time off – use these proven strategies:
· Speak up! Let your interests be known. In the case of a promotion, there may not be an open position for you right now, but by making your interests known, you will be considered for the next opportunity that comes along.
· Do your homework. When it comes to getting a raise, know your worth. Research industry standards and trends, internal and external salaries, and other best practices. This will allow you to present your case more credibly.
· Be collaborative in your request. Understand your boss’s needs and the needs of the organization. Build a bridge between their concerns and interests and your request. Ask questions such as “How do we both do well?” and “How would you define success?” Make it a win-win.
· Have a backup plan. If there is a freeze on promotions, ask for something else or ask what you can do to achieve your goal of being promoted when the hiring freeze is lifted. If there is no money for raises, ask for more vacation time, continuing education, a benefit option, or flexibility in your job.
· Be patient and remember that no doesn’t always mean no. Give people time to think about your request. Ask yourself how you might have presented your case better and go back again at the appropriate time. Also remember that this may have nothing to do with you and more to do with the current economy or other issues within the company. Use your backup plan and be prepared to act when it is appropriate to approach your boss again.
· Consider SHAMBAUGH executive coaching. Taking into account your unique needs, we design a program for professional and personal impact.
· Just do it! One thing is for certain, you may not get what you want all the time or even a majority of the time, but if you don’t ask, you may never get what you want.
June 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment
on 06/25 at 02:13 AM:
Amen Alicia! We done need a pretty face and breasts to get ahead. We need new skills!
on 06/27 at 01:33 AM:
Lori says it all in one sentence...I never thought my breasts got me anywhere, not with my baggy clothes! Ha! We do have to ask for what we want and be assertive, but be smart about what we want, not just ask and demand for the sake of doing so.
on 07/29 at 07:11 PM:
Interestingly, whenever anyone asks me what I regret one of my top 3 items is “not asking for what I deserve”....especially when it comes to pay. Women typically respond to this with justification as to why the timing isn’t right or some other limiting comment. Men who hear this, typically start rattling off options and actions.
Alicia Anderson on 06/25 at 01:08 AM:
This is great advice and especially pertinent when promotions and raises are not options. One creative way a former manager rewarded me was by offering me the option to find and attend an external training session of my choice to sharpen a skill. I chose a course that allowed me to interact with other women at my level and was extremely valuable to me both personally and professionally. The value I extracted from three days of looking within to discover what was really important to me was worth more than a 5% raise and is lasting longer than more money would have.